Breaking News! This just in! The editorial board of the New York Times has discovered a panacea*. All of our world’s problems will now be solved if we just … wait, let me define what a panacea is.
* pan·a·ce·a /ˌpænəˈsiə/ – noun
1. a remedy for all disease or ills; cure-all.
2. an answer or solution for all problems or difficulties.
Alright, now for the story. This week, the New York Times published an editorial (or, rather, as Svetlana called it, an iditorial) that presents us with a panacea for all of the worlds problems.
First, the setting. The Balkans, a dismal place where people have been killing each other for centuries.
Second, the plot. Back in 1999 Serbia invaded … well … Serbia. Then NATO had a bombing mission peacekeeping mission. Now Russia has sided with Serbia in protecting international law … I mean “dangerous, misguided and ultimately futile … neo-cold-war games”.
And now, for the cure. “Gather all the feuding Balkan nations under the European Union and NATO umbrellas, where issues of sovereignty, borders and ancient grievances would hopefully fade.”
Hurray! Standing ovation! Nobel Peace Prize! The New York Times has found a solution for our problems.
Next week “The New York Times solves global warming … the perpetual motion machine.” Stay tuned!
Second Law of Thermodynamics? What Second Law of Thermodynamics?! At the Times, we no need no Second Law of Thermodynamics!
